So many business coaches out there are encouraging you to “charge your worth.”

That kind of advice might work for white men, but for women who have been conditioned to measure their worth based on external factors, it’s anathema.

For centuries, women have been taught to measure their worth based on how they look, how they keep their house, how well-behaved their children are…

And now, with more than 51% of businesses being owned by women, we’re now measuring our worth based on the income we bring in or how many clients we enroll.

This needs to stop.

It’s time for women to stop taking advice from the very people who make us question our worth in the first place.

Because you are worthy. Period.

International Women’s Day is celebrated annually on March 8th, and it marks a day to celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women around the world.

The 2021 theme is #ChooseToChallenge, and as the official IWD website declares:

“A challenged world is an alert world. And from challenge comes change.”

I couldn’t agree more with that statement!

I’ve been challenging workplace norms my entire career. It hasn’t always been easy, and it’s never been comfortable. But change doesn’t happen inside our comfort zones.

And that’s not just change on a global scale or in your workplace or business.

I’m talking about deep internal change.

Think about the last goal you set for yourself.

Did you push forward past fear, overwhelm and doubt to achieve it?

Or, did your fears, feelings of overwhelm and crushing self-doubt hold you back?

Those thoughts, reinforced over time, come from a scarcity mindset, or the belief that there will never be enough, resulting in feelings of fear, stress, and anxiety.

A scarcity mindset can cause you to limit yourself through your beliefs and actions, preventing you from achieving your biggest goals, keeping you in debt, or destroying your confidence.

You might feel that you don’t know enough, you don’t have the resources, or you’re not good enough to achieve success or build wealth.

You might think, “who am I to go after this dream?”

And if that sounds like you, know you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need a subtle shift in your mindset to think more abundantly about your life.

When you think about finding or living your purpose, what thoughts come to mind?

Are you excited at the opportunity to find more joy and fulfillment in your life, or are you overcome with fear, hesitation, or overwhelm?

Do you know exactly the steps you need to take to live your purpose each day? Or, are you like most of us: you know you’re meant for more, but you have no idea what that is or how to get there?

When the future is unclear, fear of the unknown can cause us to think with a scarcity mindset.

A scarcity mindset is the belief that there will never be enough, resulting in feelings of fear, stress, and anxiety.

A scarcity mindset can cause you to limit yourself through your beliefs and actions, preventing you from finding or living your purpose.

Impostor Syndrome is a psychological phenomenon involving the belief that you’re inadequate, incompetent, and a complete failure despite evidence that you actually are successful. It’s also the inability to believe that you deserve success or that you achieved success as a result of your own efforts, skills, or expertise.

Impostor Syndrome affects about 70% of the population, and minority groups, including women, people of color, and people being “the first” are disproportionately affected.

How often do you put yourself first?

If you’re like most women I know, then it’s not often.

As women, we’re wired to care about the needs of others, to make everyone around us feel comfortable and taken care of. That’s an important quality of a strong, feminine leader.

That same line of thinking also creates opportunity for comparison. We’re constantly comparing ourselves to those around us, putting others on pedestals, and thinking that their needs are more important than our own.

We think if we selflessly give to others, or sacrifice what we want for what other people want, we’ll get those people to like and respect us. We derive our sense of value from the approval of others.

And in doing so, we’re sending a signal to our brain that we’re not worthy of spending time on ourselves. That we don’t deserve to put ourselves first because other people need us.

Putting someone else’s needs before your own makes you believe, even subconsciously, that they are inherently more worthy than you.

How do you view the world in general?

Do you generally think that people are rude and selfish? Or, do you believe that people are generous, kind, and warm?

Do you feel like everyone is working against you? Or, do you feel like others are there to help you?

In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, Stephen Covey explains that when you live in a world of scarcity, you compete for available resources, even when there is an abundance of them.

Does this sound familiar?

We see this a lot in corporate environments. Promotions and raises are few and far between. There are not enough women on our leadership team or board. We’re constantly in competition with similar businesses, vying for a bigger share of the market.

And in recent events like the Coronavirus pandemic, we’re scrambling for the last roll of toilet paper, the last bottle of hand sanitizer, the last box of pasta or can of beans. When just days before, the shelves in stores across the country were stocked full of them.

Fear of the unknown can cause us to think with a scarcity mindset. A scarcity mindset is the belief that there will never be enough, resulting in feelings of fear, stress, and anxiety.

On the other hand, an abundance mindset flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It’s grounded in the belief that there is more than enough for everyone.

Girl on girl crime is rampant.  I am consistently asked during my trainings and coaching sessions why women are often the harshest critics of other women.  The multi-layered problem is driven by the idea of scarcity: that there are only a few spots at the top for women, and in order to obtain a coveted place on the podium, you must compete with other women.  The commodifying language often used in male dominated work spaces further contribute to this myth: Which one are you?  The one from Michigan or Northwestern?  As though the leadership team is comparing tomatoes at a farmer’s market when talking about the few women on the team.