You know that feeling when you flip the page to a new chapter, or the smell of a used book, that can instantly transport you to a different world?

I love that feeling!

That’s why I’m Team Physical Book all the way.

There’s something so satisfying about closing the book at the end of a great reading sesh, especially if you’ve had an ah-ha moment or learned something important.

Whether you’re Team Kindle or you love having a real book in your hand, reading is an incredible way to flex your mental muscle.

I also love sharing what I’ve learned in books with others – for better or worse, you benefit from my Input strength and extreme book collection.

So in the spirit of a new year, I’d love to share the lessons that shaped my life last year from five must-read books.

It’s that time of year again!

You know, that end-of-the-year bustle where in between holiday shopping, too many desserts, and in person or virtual family gatherings, you realize you haven’t achieved half of what you set out to do.

You look at your vision board or planner and sigh, wondering if you’ll ever reach your ideal weight, ideal income, or ideal relationship goals. 

After another challenging year, it’s easy to jump to the negatives – the things you haven’t completed, forgot to do, or messed up.

Luckily, this is the time of year where any day can be a fresh start.

Where you can dream big and think about who you’re becoming in the new year.

As a business owner, putting yourself out there is part of the territory.

And when you put yourself out there as a business owner, a lot of feelings can come up. You might not feel good enough, or you might think “who am I to do this?”

When you talk about your services, put out a new blog or social media post, or any kind of marketing in general, you’re putting yourself out there.

You’re putting that line in the sand and saying, “I’m out there now,” when you launch your website or Instagram account.

When you start posting about the topics you’re an expert in, or the topics you’re passionate about, now you’re really out there.

And this is where your confidence or lack thereof will enable you or hold you back. You either have the confidence to keep going and being consistent or, something happens and you’re ready to give up.

Maybe you’re afraid to put yourself out there in the first place, so you avoid writing a new blog post or social media post.

Or maybe you did put yourself out there and something happened – you got negative feedback or comments, or no reaction, so it makes you hesitant to keep going.

You might think, “is anyone even reading this? Does anyone even care? Why am I even doing this?”

Spoiler alert: it’s important to be consistent with putting yourself out there. And it all comes back to managing your emotions.

Have you ever had a hunch that came true?

Do you have an uncanny knack for guessing what will happen next in a movie?

Are you “always right” when it comes to sensing bad intentions in others?

If you said yes to any of the above, then you have a strong intuition!

The real question is: how often do you trust or follow your intuition?

I’ve always been an intuitive person, but in grad school, I didn’t trust my hunches or nudges.

When the professor asked the class a question, I almost always knew the answer, but I never raised my hand. Then, when someone else raised their hand and got the answer right, I always kicked myself for not trusting in myself.

I also got really close to a woman who ended up becoming my worst enemy. I always thought to myself, “I should have listened to my gut!”

Have you had any experiences like that?

Deepening trust in your intuition is an important way to build sustainable confidence in yourself. It can also help you make better decisions, avoid disappointing relationships, and gain the clarity you need to take the next steps in your path.

It might seem like magic (and those moments when you do trust your intuition often are!), but there are real and tangible ways you can deepen trust in your intuition so you can make better decisions for your life.

Have you heard that we think more than 50,000 thoughts per day?

Well, new research shows that number is actually closer to 6,200 thoughts.

Still, that’s a lot to process every day. That’s about 258 thoughts per hour or 4 thoughts per minute!

And how many of those thoughts are negative?

If you’re like most women, negative thoughts are almost part of your DNA.

You may not even notice how often you think negative thoughts about yourself, because they’re so ingrained in your thought process.

Negative thoughts erode your confidence by causing you to lose trust in yourself. And a deep trust is the foundation for building sustainable confidence.

If negative thinking is your default thought process, read on to learn how to reframe your thinking and choose empowering thoughts instead.

Where do you want to be six months from now?

Do you believe you have what it takes to get there, or do your beliefs about yourself stand in the way of achieving that goal?

Limiting beliefs are the thoughts you have about yourself, your business, your life, or any given situation that hold you back from achieving what you want.

They prevent you from moving forward toward your goals because you believe you cannot achieve your desires, or that they are not available to you.

If you’re struggling to start something new or achieve a goal you’ve had for years, chances are your thoughts about yourself and your situation may have something to do with it.

You have big dreams.

You want to help people and change the world, but you’re not sure where to start.

One of the best ways to contribute to serving the world is to find your life purpose.

Your purpose is who you are at your core. It’s your reason for getting out of bed in the morning and the reason you feel a sense of satisfaction when you go to sleep at night.

Living your purpose brings meaning to your life. It helps guide your decisions, influence your life goals, and create a sense of fulfillment.

Showing up as the fullest, boldest, most authentic you is what will change the world. Shrinking does nothing to improve the lives of others, and it will keep you stuck playing small.

And you can show up as the most authentic version of you when you find and live your purpose.

Building sustainable confidence doesn’t happen overnight.

You might be saying your affirmations, writing your journal prompts, making a list of your accomplishments, and feeling great.

Then one day, someone calls you “too much” or a presentation doesn’t go as planned or you don’t enroll the new client after a discovery call.

When you don’t have a firm trust in yourself and believe in your capacity for success, one small curve in the path can send you into an impostor spiral.

I get it, because I’ve been there.

In fact, all it took was one feedback session with a former manager where she personally attacked me and my coaching business for me to totally lose all the confidence it took a lifetime to build.

Have you ever been called, “too much?”

How about, “too quiet,” or “too sensitive?”

Those judgements from others about how we should be can erode our confidence.

Especially when they come from people we love and admire.

In Luvvie Ajayi Jones’ new book, Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual, she says that when someone calls you “too” something, it’s more of a statement on them than it is on you.

Still, it can be hard to remember that in the moment, or when those words begin to fill you with self-doubt.

By knowing and owning who you are, you can begin to build confidence in yourself that withstands hurtful criticism from others.

Because when you stand strong in who you are, no one can take that away from you.

Confidence is a feeling or belief that you can rely on something or someone – including yourself.

It’s a deep trust in your ability to achieve the goals and success you desire, yet so many of us experience lower levels of confidence because we’ve broken trust with ourselves.

And once that trust is broken, it can be hard to get it back.

Here’s the thing about confidence: It can either propel you forward to achieve your dreams or hold you back for fear of failure.

And if confidence is a feeling or belief, you can use the BE YOU Mental Model to identify your Beliefs, Emotions, Behaviors and Effects and make the shifts necessary to build deeper trust in yourself and your ability to be successful.

What would you do with more confidence?

Would you step outside your comfort zone and try something new?

Would you hit “publish” on your first blog post?

Would you matter-of-factly state your prices without fear of rejection?

If confidence doesn’t come easily for you, it might be overwhelming to consider taking powerful action or doing the things that scare you.

In that case, journaling is a great way to build confidence, because when you journal, you begin to deepen your connection with your inner world in a supportive environment.

You start to build trust in yourself, and you start to understand yourself better.

The act of journaling also helps you replace old, negative thought patterns or limiting beliefs with new, empowering thoughts and abundant beliefs.

I’m a voracious reader. One of my Top 5 Strengths is Input – I love collecting information.

And the books I’m drawn to most often are self-help and personal development books. I’ve read countless books on personal finance, spirituality, personal growth, and success. And I’ve realized something.

The personal development field has a lot of people who look the same. When I look at my bookshelves or my Audible library, there are a lot of white, male faces.

And that’s not always the perspective I want to hear.

It’s important to be intentional about who we learn from, whose perspectives we listen to, and whose lessons enrich our lives.

You’re a dreamer.

You have big goals and an even bigger vision for the world you want to create.

You’re on the path to living your purpose, and you know what you need to do to get there.

You set strong, ambitious goals year after year.

You start the year off strong, motivated by your big goals, but a few months in, you start to slow down.

You don’t feel inspired to reach your goal.

Maybe you made some missteps along the way. Maybe it’s harder than you thought it would be.

Maybe your friends and family are distracting you or telling you to stop.

Maybe it’s just not meant to be.

Or maybe, you need a new routine.

It’s that time of year again!

A time for review, reflection, renewal.

A time to show gratitude for the things we’ve learned, the experiences that shaped us, and the mistakes that paved our path.

I love this time of year because it's easy to feel a sense of wonder and possibility. Holiday spirit is abundant, people are giving and generous, and those feelings are contagious.

It's also a perfect time of year to reflect on your life. Did you accomplish what you set out to this year? What lessons and gifts did life bring your way? What are you most proud of?

Spending time reflecting on the previous year also sets you up to plan your year ahead. By appreciating the memories, lessons, events, and experiences of the past year, you begin to understand what you want more of in the new year, and what you'd rather leave behind.

One of my favorite ways to celebrate my birthday each year is to spend time reflecting on what I learned over the past year (and years) of my life.

This activity allows me to acknowledge and celebrate my successes, learn from my mistakes, stay grounded in my truth, and set goals for my next year.

Similar to a Year in Review exercise, this is a simple way to come back to yourself. Setting aside time and space for reflection is an important component of aligned introspection.

Knowing yourself is a powerful tool that will fuel you on your journey to living your purpose, and by taking the time to consider how you’ve grown each year, you’re sending a message to the Universe that you’re ready for more.

They say there’s this “seven-year itch,” where couples who’ve been together for seven years start to re-evaluate their relationship.

It’s a commonly held belief that at the seven-year mark, couples tend to fall into a slump, they start to get dissatisfied with their partners, and they start to question their feelings about the relationship.

I’m not a relationship expert, but I always thought this was an old wives’ tale or a myth made popular by the Marilyn Monroe movie of the same title.

So, as I approach my seventh year of marriage, and as I sat down to write this article, I did a little research.

If you’ve ever paid attention to your thoughts for a day, then you’ve likely noticed some very negative things you tend to think about yourself:

“I ruined dinner again. Everyone will hate this meal! Why do I even bother?”

“I forgot to pay my credit card bill – I’m such an idiot!”

“I don’t know enough to be a health coach. Who would take health advice from me anyway?”

“I haven’t achieved anything in my life. I’m stuck in a job I hate, and I never have enough money. I’m a total failure.”

So much of what we say and think about ourselves is negative. And those negative thoughts influence everything else in your life: Your Beliefs create Emotions, which create Behaviors, which result in Effects.

And the Effects you get reinforce your Belief. So when you believe you’re a failure or you don’t know enough about something, your emotions and behaviors will cause you to act in a way that makes that a reality.

On the other hand, if you believe you have everything you need to be successful or you believe you are smart, capable and talented, your emotions will shift, and so will your behaviors, to allow you to achieve your goals.

Think about the last goal you set for yourself.

Did you push forward past fear, overwhelm and doubt to achieve it?

Or, did your fears, feelings of overwhelm and crushing self-doubt hold you back?

Those thoughts, reinforced over time, come from a scarcity mindset, or the belief that there will never be enough, resulting in feelings of fear, stress, and anxiety.

A scarcity mindset can cause you to limit yourself through your beliefs and actions, preventing you from achieving your biggest goals, keeping you in debt, or destroying your confidence.

You might feel that you don’t know enough, you don’t have the resources, or you’re not good enough to achieve success or build wealth.

You might think, “who am I to go after this dream?”

And if that sounds like you, know you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need a subtle shift in your mindset to think more abundantly about your life.

What would you do with more confidence?

Would you boldly pursue your passion and live your purpose?

Would you ask for the raise or promotion you deserve?

Would you put yourself out there to make new friends or attract your dream clients?

Sure, confidence can help you achieve all of those things.

But the truth is: you don’t need confidence to take big steps like that.

In fact, taking the big step creates confidence.

But in between those steps, you can build confidence over time. With smaller, more manageable actions you can start today.

Manifesting is bringing something tangible into your life by cultivating the experience of what you want to feel, then living and believing in that experience so it can become a reality.

An abundance mindset helps you manifest anything you want because it starts with a deep belief that you are enough, that you have enough, and that you’re deserving of the things you have in your life.

It’s a strong feeling of security and confidence in yourself. A belief that you already have everything you need to be successful. That anything you want is available to you.

That deep belief is the foundation for manifesting. Manifesting is about making everything you want to feel and experience a reality for you – through your beliefs, emotions, behaviors, and effects.

Manifesting isn’t about asking the Universe for help, then stepping back and waiting for what you want to just fall into your lap. You have to do the work. You have to take powerful, aligned action to achieve your goals. This isn’t a passive exercise.

Remember: your thoughts create your reality. If you believe you’ll never be good enough to go after your dream job or start your own business, you’ll behave in a way that gets you that result. In other words, you likely won’t take action toward your goals.

On the other hand, if you believe that you have enough knowledge, wisdom, strength, and guidance to achieve your goals, you’ll feel confident enough to take powerful action and manifest those goals.