So many business coaches out there are encouraging you to “charge your worth.”

That kind of advice might work for white men, but for women who have been conditioned to measure their worth based on external factors, it’s anathema.

For centuries, women have been taught to measure their worth based on how they look, how they keep their house, how well-behaved their children are…

And now, with more than 51% of businesses being owned by women, we’re now measuring our worth based on the income we bring in or how many clients we enroll.

This needs to stop.

It’s time for women to stop taking advice from the very people who make us question our worth in the first place.

Because you are worthy. Period.

Three years ago, I wrote a blog about how to close the gender pay gap.

In that article, I shared that, based on current progress, gender parity was more than 200 years away.

I’m happy to share this year that we’ve made progress! Gender parity is now just 99.5 years away, according to the WEF’s 2020 Global Gender Gap Report.

And while I’m thrilled to know that many countries have made huge strides in advancing women in leadership and politics, we still have a long way to go.

I still want to see parity in my lifetime, and that means focusing not only on the advancement of white women, who make 79 cents for every white male dollar, but of Black women, who make 62 cents per dollar, and Latinx women, who make just 55 cents per dollar.

In this two-part series, I’ll share my thoughts on how both women+ as individuals and companies can each do their part to close the gender pay gap.

Think about the last goal you set for yourself.

Did you push forward past fear, overwhelm and doubt to achieve it?

Or, did your fears, feelings of overwhelm and crushing self-doubt hold you back?

Those thoughts, reinforced over time, come from a scarcity mindset, or the belief that there will never be enough, resulting in feelings of fear, stress, and anxiety.

A scarcity mindset can cause you to limit yourself through your beliefs and actions, preventing you from achieving your biggest goals, keeping you in debt, or destroying your confidence.

You might feel that you don’t know enough, you don’t have the resources, or you’re not good enough to achieve success or build wealth.

You might think, “who am I to go after this dream?”

And if that sounds like you, know you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need a subtle shift in your mindset to think more abundantly about your life.

Entitled.

That’s what I was called the very first time I negotiated my salary. Not from my boss, but from my boss’s boss.

I was fresh out of grad school and had just been offered a job at the hospital where I completed a 6-month administrative residency, and he was my Preceptor. In school, we were told what to expect as far as salary ranges, and the offer was very low compared to what we were told.

I wasn’t successful in negotiating that offer, but I was determined to get what I was worth. I applied to another job and got an offer from Johns Hopkins Hospital. Now, I had leverage. I told my boss about the Hopkins offer, and he asked “what will it take to get you to stay?” So I said, “A manager title and $10k more than this offer.” I was prepared, I did my homework, I had options, and I was confident in my ask. I got exactly what I asked for.

Shatter the Glass Ceiling Together with Lean In Circles

I sat across the table from the man who would determine my future. It was now or never.

My palms sweaty and my heart racing, I began to list all my achievements from the past three years. Finally, the words, burning on my tongue since the moment I walked in the room, slipped out and formed the sentence, “I’d like a promotion.”